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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Talking to God

I have talked a lot lately about dance class. I want to tell you a little more so that you will understand this post.

Growing up dance was my whole life. I went to school, then I went to dance, then I went to bed. This was my routine from 3rd grade when I started competing until after college. Then I began teaching full time (meaning everyday from opening around 2:30 until my last class ended at 7 or 7:30). I had always been a dancer or a dance teacher.

When Cam was 5 years old and starting kindergarten I quit dance completely. It was a very hard thing to do. It was almost like I lost my identity, my safe place this person I had always been. I had always thought that I would have a girl that loved dance. But I had this wonderful little boy, that didn't love dance :o). I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. So when school started my heart knew it was time to give up dance, time to be Kelly the mommy, and Kelly the dancer would have to go away. That was over 7 years ago.

When I was called last year and offered 1 class to teach I was reluctant to do it simply because it had been so long, and I really didn't miss teaching....I missed dancing. But I agreed and spent my first year back teaching a combo class (ballet, tap, jazz) for 1st and 2nd graders. Then I found out my old teacher had a group of "old" dancers together. People like me that life happened, and dance went from being #1 to nonexistent in no time. Over the summer we met on Saturday night, but now with the dance season upon us we meet twice a week...Monday night from 8-10:30 for technique, lyrical and jazz...Tuesday night from 9:30 until 10:30 for Tap. I live 45 minutes away from this class.

I have to tell you that getting up at 6:00 and staying up until 12 (because by the time I get home and in bed it is close to 12) is hard on a person. I don't really think it's because I need more sleep now, but because when I rested as a teenager now I have things to do ......like laundry, cooking, cleaning spending time with my husband and child. Life.

Usually instead of listening to music on my ride home I will plug in my ipod and listen (not watch) Grey's Anatomy. It clears the music out of my head so that I can go to sleep...otherwise I will be practicing in my head as I'm trying to sleep and stay up most of the night. Tuesday night my wonderful little man "borrowed" my ipod and forgot to tell me it was in the house, so on the ride home I had nothing to listen to and I didn't want to listen to the radio or my brain would just not go into relax mode. I would still be doing my dance. So I began my conversation with God.

Don't take me wrong, I talk with God a lot. It usually is to pray for something specific, not just to talk. I had never in my life just sat down and "talked" to God like I would if I had called my friend or something. Now granted I did a lot of the talking....I didn't get a lot of feedback...but the conversation started like this "God I'm tired, and it's late...I'm afraid of falling asleep if I don't have someone to talk to. I don't want to call anyone so do you think you could ride here with me and let’s just talk?"   I talked  We talked about what great parents I had, and where I thought I would be right now in my life, and how far away from that I was, and how perfect this is for me.  We talked about finances, and what is most important in my life.  We talked about the hole in Camerons ear and the insurance, my grandmother and how very much I miss her, my best friend that passed 15 years ago. It was amazing that I talked and talked and talked and never once felt tired until right before I pulled into my driveway! I said thank you and goodnight, and was out like a light.  It's amazing how spending 45 minutes talking to God will make you feel.  I advice you to do it sometime.

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