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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

what I want to say:

Last week, somehow...my ex-husbands profile poped up in the "friend suggestion" on Facebook...imagine my shock to see a picture of Cameron as his profile picture.  If you don't know the story of Cameron you can check here,  or here.

I simply sent him a message on FB that said "Why in the world would you use Cameron's picture on your profile?"

His response is "You know why, I really didn't think you would get mad.  Tracy and mom get to talk to Cameron and I don't.  It ,actually makes me feel alot better about YOU.  I didn't know it would offend you."

I didn't respond to that I just blocked him.  But this is what I would like to respond...because I divorced him to quit arguing and fighting I will just post it here...

No Mark I don't know the answer.

When you posted that picture - I'm sure it was for Fathers Day that you put it up there, did you intend to imply that you are the father of both of those children??? Did you by chance post under that picture...these are my children, I have not seen that little boy since he was 22 months old, I've never paid child support, sent a birthday or Christmas card and I don't call. He calls another man DAD because I'm a POS deadbeat father.....

What have you done for your children? Have you had to wear old worn-out clothes so that they can have something nice that fits? Have you worked 7 days a week to make sure that they have not only the things that they need but the things that they want too?? Have you sacrificed ANYTHING for your children????

I guess we both know the answer to that.

Yes it makes my blood boil for you to post a picture of MY SON on your profile like you had anything at all to do with the young man he is today. You didn’t. I’m sure though that you are telling everyone that I'm such a bitch, that I won’t let you have anything to do with him. It's all me. .because you said that same crap about Jackie. It was you; you didn't have the time nor desire to do what was right. You could go to your house and smoke your cigarettes and say "Oh I just don't have the money" but did you do anything to help? NO. You quit having something to do with Cameron when you realized that the stalking and threatening wasn't working anymore. You realized that you had to leave me alone, so you left him alone too. It's your fault you are where you are today. You and you alone.

You might be Cameron's biological father but you have chosen not to know him, you chose that years ago. Now that isn't your choice anymore it's Camerons. He doesn't want to know you at this time. If that changes I will contact either Bre or Traci, other than that you need to leave Cameron out of your FB crap. You are not his DAD, he has one here that makes the necessary sacrifices for him. He has a dad that loves him and knows all about him. A dad that wants him to have the stuff that he desires bad enough to work like a slave to get it.

And as far as this comment "It ,actually makes me feel alot better about YOU."....I divorced you because I didn't give a crap about what you thought about me anymore!!! You are so vain to think that how you think of me would actually matter! You and your family decided not to see Cameron, not me. Your family decided to contact me...that ball was always in their court..now it's all Camerons decision.

Because you decided to swipe a picture of Cameron, no one wil be able to view the pictures that I put up...congratulations Mark again you managed to screw up a good thing for everyone for your own personal gratification.

Thanks for letting me vent on that Jerk again...you would think that after13 years I wouldn't let him get to me anymore....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Fathers Day

I wanted to take the time to tell you about a wonderful dad.  He isn't a Father..and doesn't want to "father" a child, he is happy with the one that calls him DAD.

This man sacrifices whatever it takes to make sure he has a good job, that makes enough to pay for our needs and his wants for Cam. He gets up every morning at 4:30. he gets home each night at 8:00.

On the weekends, he drags all his tiredness out of the house and we go to Carowinds, movies, to the park..whatever they want to do.  They throw the ball or ride dirt bikes, hang out doing "guy stuff".

He works extra hard on Saturdays to pay for things like horses, golf lessons, guitar lessons whatever that 12 (almost 13) year old boy wants.....

He does all this for my son, from my first marriage...a child that is not technically his, a child whose biological father has chosen not to know him...

When Wes and I started dating, he never asked me to get a sitter.  I had this 15 month old baby and every date we went on..Cam went to.   He would go with me to the store and ALWAYS buy Cameron something.  I remember telling him "Look, I'm a single mom, I can't afford for you to get him used to getting something every time we walk into the store"  Wes would just laugh and say "Let me worry about that"
(our first) Christmas together,  he spent more on Cameron than he did me. 

When he would pick me up to go somewhere it would be somewhere like Chuck - E - Cheese, McDonalds playground or the park. 

When Cameron was 3 years old his play school was teaching about mommy's and daddy's.  He was supposed to tell their names and where they worked.  Cameron had not seen my ex-husband in over a year and he was just not someone we talked about. When he came home he wanted me to take him to see Wes.  We were sitting there eating he looked over and said "Wes, I want to be your daddy...no...I want you to be the daddy...(sigh) I wanna call you my daddy"  Wes said "Okay"  Cameron was sitting there for a second then looked back and said "When Mrs. Cauthen says who is your daddy and where does he work I wanna say Wes Jennings is my daddy"  Wes said "Okay buddy, what ever you want"  I found out that he had already told them that Wes was his daddy..he just needed to know it was okay.

Wes has never played baseball...but you should see him outside trying to help Cam improve his game...
I can't imagine how hard it was to sell his motorcycle, the one "hobby" he has had since high school because between soccer, baseball and football there was never time to ride...

That man sacrifices more in a day for Cam than his biological father has in his whole life!!!!  

I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful DADDY for my son, God needed someone else to be his father but He sure sent  the right man to be his DADDY!! I'm so glad that He brought us together.

He is a wonderful dad...I always think of this song on Fathers Day, when Cam starts talking about what to buy:

I hope you all had a wonderful day with your fathers!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How you could say that about a child?

Before you read my post you should read this article.   Go ahead I will wait.

Woman Waiting by Pamela Galloway

are you done?  Yes?

Did that leave you kind of speechless?  Did that make you think whoa?  If you read the comments that people leave, you can see that this story leaves each reader with strong emotions.  Either disgust with the mother/pity for the child or sorrow for both/happy for both.

Upon reading the title the only thought in my mind was :  How you could say a thing like that?  What is wrong with you??  Then continuing to read it was easy to see that she was frustrated.  Lets face it, parents put such high hopes in their children. 

Personally I get frustrated because I know that Cameron is smart, I know he is good at sports....but he is so self conscience sometimes.  He wants to do well...he just doesn't want anyone to watch it. He doesn't like the "all eyes on me" moments.  When watching him struggle with something that I know that he can do, and have watched him do well 100 times...frustration sets in.  Then he will out shine everyone in others areas, it's like a gentle reminder of how great he really is.  Like the time he saved the life of one of his classmates, or when I asked why his was eating 3 meals a day at lunch (I expected 2) and he said that his friend was always hungry and never had extra money so he would buy his buddy and extra lunch too, or when he came back from a field trip telling me about the cool necklace he wanted to buy...but instead bough his friend that had no money something.  Every time I compare Cameron's talents to another child's and I feel let down  he does something extraordinary to remind me that he shines in his own way...in better ways...where it counts.  He has a heart of pure gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This lady, she knew something wasn't right..something was off.  There were no other moments where her daughter would excel.  No heart touching moments where her goodness shined through.  There was only the feeling that something wasn't right.  I think the mother was searching for answers, then when none came she  blamed herself for her daughters problems.... when we blame ourselves we try to turn it to someone else, justify our anger, our hurt and sometimes that gets placed on the wrong shoulders.

It is hard to believe that she didn't like her child.  If she didn't like her she would have left her, if she really didn't like her she wouldn't have taken her to the Dr. to find out what was wrong.  If she didn't like her she wouldn't have tried so hard to find something in common with her.  She was acting out on her frustrations.  She was trying so hard to make that child into a "normal" child, wanting her to be more, wanting her to be accepted.  Wanting at least a reason for what was happening.   I think that she loved her daughter, I don't think she liked herself in her daughters presence.  I think she didn't like herself for how she was looking at her daughter.

I left that article with mixed emotions.  Parenting is hard.  There is no handbook.  You just love your child, encourage (sometimes with a hard push) them to do everything and work hard to be the best.  You want you children to have ambition, goals, and the courage to go after those goals.  You want everyone to love your children, accept them and you want them to succeed in everything that they do.  And when they don't...it's hard to deal with.  It's hard when there is no reason, then you are left feeling like a failure...a failure at parenting.  The consequences of that are the most difficult because it is your child who suffers for your failure.  Maybe she was feeling the guilt of failing her daughter.  In the end everything worked out, there was a reason and a fix for the problem that her child was having.  Now she is only left with the guilt of not just accepting her for what she was. 

I wonder though, if she had not continued to ask questions would they have found her daughters problem or just marked her up as a special needs child?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Better late than never!!!

I'm sure that you remember my rant about baseball...the rant that I have every year because I feel like we are getting the short end of the stick.

I am not one of those mothers that believes that her child is the best on the team...nor do I believe that he is the worst.  I personally believe that every child on the team should be rotated out at some point.  No child should sit on the bench 2/3 of every game.  That is what has been happening to Cameron.

Well, Cameron has been hitting really well this year, although he is only getting one at bat per game he usually gets a base hit.  On Thursday nights game surprisingly they let him bat twice!  He hit a line drive through center field and had 2 RBI's!  He stole second as well.  Anyway, his next at bat was a pop fly to center field that landed right in front of the fence (about 10 feet away from the fence)  if it had been just a little straighter it would have gone right over!!!  You know his mama (that's me) was jumping up and down :-)  I was so happy!   (I must add here that Cameron was the very bottom of the line up...he was third up to bat that inning and the next 3 people struck out..)

Anyway, on Saturday mornings game they let him bat once...line drive out to the left field!!! 1 RBI!!  Then he was left on base by the strike outs on the top of the line up...

That was all very important for the conversation that I heard next...This old man came up to the coach after the game and said
I don't know who that little number 11 is, or why he is at the bottom of the line up...but he is 4 for 4 and you need to keep him in the line up and bench some of the top of the line up kids...that kid's been hot the last few games and he's been playing circles around those other kids most of this season...

I wanted to scream....That number 11 belongs to me!!!!!!   I don't know who that old man was...but I'm glad I over heard that conversation.

After the game the coach commented
Cameron sure has improved these last couple of games

I just smiled and said thanks, but what I really wanted to say was - Cameron has been playing good all year, too bad you didn't pay attention to the whole team and notice! 

Anyway I just wanted to toot my baby's horn and say how very proud of him I am (I'm always proud even when he does strike out)

I also wanted to say I'm SO GLAD THIS SEASON IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!  We did win the first game on Saturday, Cameron was moved to the top of the line up on on the second game, but honestly the entire team  played like they had eaten pizza and drank soda between the games in 99 degree weather...oh wait...they did :(  bad decision making on that one!  Some one's sweet parents decided to reward the team on their win, buy pizzas and sodas for lunch before the second game...that was sweet, but not a good idea.  They coudn't get up and move, they all were so sluggish...it was like watching the Bad News Bears!

It's okay though, they beat the undefeated team, a team that beat them 3 times this year, and came in second in the City Championships! I think that is something to be proud of!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Mystery Hostess!!!

Ladies by now you know that I am a Thirty One Consultant!  I am having a "Mystery Hostess Event" TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

If you place an order before midnight tonight then you have the chance to be the hostess of my event.  Do you know what that means?  It means that you could get all of the rewards of this "party".  The 10% free stuff, the half off items, the retail price items.

This month the special is for every $31.00 you spend you can get a LARGE UTILITY TOTE for only $9.00!!  That is a great deal!

Just go to www.mythirtyoneone.com/kelly click on place your order, and then click on mystery hostess event!

If you have any questions please shoot me an email  kellytjennings (at) yahoo (dot) com!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

30 Day Blog Challenge!

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts

Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

Day 3-Your first love

Day 4-Your parents

Day 5-Your siblings

Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 7-Favorite movies

Day 8-A place you've traveled to

Day 9-A picture of your friends

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Day 11-Favorite tv shows

Day 12-What you believe

Day 13-Goals

Day 14-A picture you love

Day 15-Bible verse

Day 16-Dream house

Day 17-Something you're looking forward to

Day 18-Something you regret

Day 19-Something you miss

Day 20-Nicknames

Day 21-Picture of yourself

Day 22-Favorite city

Day 23-Favorite vacation

Day 24-Something you've learned

Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 26-Picture of your family

Day 27-Pets

Day 28-Something that stresses you out

Day 29-3 Wishes

Day 30-a picture