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Thursday, July 8, 2010

I saw someone die tonight

Have you ever had one of those days that you wish you could have a second chance at?  I did.  I had that day today.

My cousin's mother is visiting from Florida (she divorced my Uncle, but we still love her).  She asked if we would come over for a cookout, and visit with her.  So I agreed. I came home and waited on Wes, I dont' know why I waited for him to get here before I changed clothes, but I did.  We were now running late, but it was no big deal.

On the way to my cousins house we came up on a wreck.  It had just happened, if we had left on time we would have been in that accident.  But that is not what changed me, maybe that should be what changed me, but it isn't.  I saw the groceries, I say the toys and the stuff on the road.  It was after I saw all of that, that I saw the girl.  She was in the road.  She was looking up, but not moving.  She was breathing, but just barely.  There was a baby seat in the car and we were afraid that maybe the baby had been thrown from the car too.  So I was looking up and down the road for a baby.  Cameron was there.  He saw it all, but we couldn't just leave.

I told Cam to pray for her, but then I went to look for the baby.  I told him not to look, just to pray.  The baby was not with her and no one was praying with her.  I didn't ask if she knew Jesus, I didn't kneel by her and say a prayer.  I cried as I walked up and down the road looking in the ditch for a baby that wasn't even there.

That girl died lying in a road, and I don't know if she knew Jesus. I didn't pray for her when I should have, I failed her as a Christian.  I let her down. I exposed my son to something that he should have never seen. If I had been on time, we would have been in that accident. Those are the thoughts that are keeping me awake tonight.  And her eyes.  Her face.  I wish I could see a picture of her smiling, maybe then I could get that image out of my mind. I know that I am throwing a pity party, but seriously my heart is grieving for this girl.  I didn't know her, I will never know her, but I don't think I will ever forget her.

4 comments:

Mrs. Gambizzle said...

Wow I can't even imagine how you are feeling, I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that.

kneesandpaws said...

Aww, this is so sad. How hard for you to have to experience this. Please believe that this girl did know God's love for her, you didn't fail. You did the right thing. Please be comforted knowing she is at complete peace now.

Amber said...

This is chilling. I'm praying for you that God will grant you peace with this difficult situation. It's so sad!

Rachel said...

I am so sorry.

All I know is that God's timing is perfect - even when it is hard.

I hope you can take whatever good God can make out of this situation.

So very sorry for what you experienced and I hope that family can heal.