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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

We build them up - others tear them down.

When we have children we look into their beautiful faces and we see all of the possibilities that life holds for them.  We take our children into our arms and we tell them that they can be anything. We sign them up for sports or dance class because we want them to find a passion for something, we want them to understand what team work is, and how it is accomplished.  We want them to feel pride when they win a game, and they need to feel disappointment when they loose a game. We have to teach them to win with grace and loose with dignity.  With dance class, the pride isn't from winning, it is from getting on the stage and performing to the best of your ability, unless of course you are in a compitition group then it's about winning.

We spend so much time working on our kids abilities, and self esteems.  We need them to be confident in themselves so that later in life they are confident in their own decisions they are confident in thier abilities, and they know how good accomplishments feel.  How can we do that when the coaches tear them down?  I know that everyone isn't going to agree with me when I say that I paid for my child to play, and I expect him to have equal play time as the other kids.  I'm sorry if you disagree with me, but this is how I feel.

Ninety dollars is what I spent on enrollment fees for baseball, that doesn't include the time that I spend getting him to and from practice, and the amount of money I spent on a new bat and a batting helmet.  He has missed one practice this season, and that was because he was sick.  Car sick from the bus, but still sick. He is also small for his age, which means that he can't hit as far as other kids can.  He can hit, but it just doesn't go the distance.  So what do they do?  They only let him bat once per game.  Is that going to help him improve his distance?  No it makes him cry.  He doesn't cry at the field, he cries at home, in his room when he thinks that I don't know.  I'm his mom, I know. I try to help, I try to make him feel better.  I tell him that he will grow, I tell him that as he grows he will get stronger.  I tell him that the most important thing he needs is heart.  he needs to love the game, and  the rest will come. 

How can people justify hurting a child like that.  This isn't JV or Varsity.  This isn't All-Stars, it isn't some league that holds tryouts.  WE HAVE TO PAY FOR HIM TO PLAY.  We all pay the same amount, shouldn't they all get equal play time?  How do you handle this, do you continue to let your child's self esteem get trampled on by an adult (that refuses to  talk to the team when they loose the game?) Or the coach that lets someone else coach when they are loosing, only to step back in when they pull ahead?  Come on people, it's little league!  We don't point fingers when they are loosing, what happened to the saying "We win as a team, we loose as a team"  no one player Win's the game, no one player looses the game.  There is no I in team work. I'm frustrated at this team.  I'm frustrated because my child isn't getting to play. I'm frustrated because he is learning poor sportsmanship.  I'm tired of him getting treated differently because of his size.  One day he will grow, he will be as big as the other kids, and his talent will be noticed!  I just have to continue to cheer him on as this time goes by and hope that he doesn't get too discouraged. I pray that I can continue to have a good sport on my hands, one that doens't pout when they loose, but wants to try harder next time to win.

What do you think?  Do you think it is okay to bench a player in little league? Or do you think if they all pay they all play?


Shannon said...

I agree...it's little league, not the MLB. While the point of sports is the competition, it doesn't mean winning at all costs, especially if it means crushing a child's self-esteem. I don't know how you have been so tolerant, I would have probably been banned from games by now because I would've already had words with this coach. I think this man needs to find another team to coach and channel some of his intensity elsewhere. They are KIDS!!!! Hope this works out for you...

Leiah said...

I could be wrong and it depends on what league he's playing in, but at one time the rules said EVERY player had to play at least one inning. I would do a little research and if that's the case, then have a one-on-one talk with the coach, out of earshot of anyone else and let him know that you know what is supposed to happen, and then thank him for making sure that it does happen. Worth a shot, right? Good luck and hugs to your little man!