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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Thank you Very Much - Mouthy Old Lady Issue!

It's Free Therapy Day!! That's right, it's Thursday, which means it's the Thank You Very Much day. The way it works is that you take out all your frustrations on people/things that peeved you off during the week and thank them in a very sarcastic way, for being who or what they are/doing what they did.

I know that after the week I've had I need some free therapy, and if you need some to go here and link up with Kmama!

To the MOL (Mouthy Old Lady) at the salon,

Have you ever heard of Battered Wives Syndrome? I am going to assume from the way you were talking about TPG (That Poor Girl) that you have no clue what I am talking about. Battered wives syndrome is very real and it is the exact reason that people like TPG stay with TJA (The Jack Ass) for so long. Until you have walked in TPG's shoes you should keep your mouth shut about her situation. It is people like you that contribute to battered wives syndrome in the first place. I know you MOL - you worked for my mom. I know that your husband worshiped the ground you walked on and never raised his voice to you in the 50 + years that you were married. You are very lucky. You can't honestly say what you would have done if you were in her shoes, because YOU! DON'T! KNOW!

I do know, I know what it is like to be ashamed to show my face in public because I caught people discussing what was going on in my house. (But what I didn't see was people trying to stop him from hitting me)I know what it is like to avoid my neighbors because they watched my then husband throw rocks and lit cigarettes at me. I know the humiliation that goes along with the fear when you are a battered wife. I know how long it takes to find yourself and your freedom again. I know exactly what it was like to sit in a bathtub of water and try to figure out how to kill yourself without killing your unborn baby! I KNOW! I know the feeling of going to bed every night praying that God would take you out of this life because you feel so hopeless, ashamed and worthless. I know the self esteem issues and how long it takes to get back on your feet. I know what it is like to loose who you are and never really find that girl again.

Do you think when he introduced himself on their first date he said "I'm TJA, I beat my wives and girlfriends, try to control all of their thoughts and movements, and make them feel completely worthless, wanna go out?" That's not how it happens, it's gradual, its unnoticeable at first until years (yes years) later you find yourself in a situation that you never thought would happen to you. Then you are trying like hell to figure a way out and still be alive.

If you would spend half as much time on your knees praying for God to give her the courage and strength to leave that you spend flapping your jaws about what you would do, maybe that girl would finally stand up for herself and leave. Maybe instead of gossiping about her you could show her some encouragement, maybe you could let her know that it will be okay if she leaves. Maybe you could tell her that she is worthy of love, worthy of more that she has been given, this is not her destiny, she did nothing to deserve this treatment. Maybe you could tell her that Jesus loves her, even when she feels like no one does. Maybe just prayer is all you can do, that would be better that running your old mouth! I would have said these things but I really didn't want to stand up and humiliate you in front of everyone, and disrespect you - because my mother taught me better! I knew if I opened my mouth ugly things would roll out, so I did the best I could do and KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT! It's not something I will do again!

So thank you very much for bringing back those old feelings, I really needed that to top my wonderful week off!

**PS I am not trying to get sympothy for this - I am married to a wonderful man that treats me very good! I'm good, I'm just pissed and didn't sleep AGAIN last night. I just needed to get it off my chest.

I can't tell you how much better that feels. I wish I had wrote this last night before I went to bed!


The Real Me! said...

Wow! I know how it feels to have past issues raise their ugly head and it is VERY therapeutic to get them off your chest. If this has helped you then it was so worth it to do.
It is good to hear that you have conquered this and have found a man who treats you like you deserve.
I agree that so many times people say things without thinking and or knowing what they are talking about.
Blessings to you!!!

Rachel said...

Oh my goodness... this is so sad on so many levels. Such a reminder not to judge people without knowing the whole story.

(And abusive men are NEVER OKAY)

Beth Zimmerman said...

I pray that God would remind me, over and over again, that it is not my place (EVER) to judge but only to be loving and compassionate! And that I would refrain from being a mouthy old lady!

I'm sorry for your past pain and so glad that you found deliverance!

Lisa said...

WOW!! People have no right talking about stuff they know nothing about. So glad you found happiness and safety and hopefully this other girl will too!

Kmama said...

Oh wow. People are so quick to judge and rarely think first. So, so sad.

I'm glad to hear your in a better life now.

Thanks for linking up!

He & Me + 3 said...

That is so true. Encouragement and prayer is what she needs not another person giving their two cents on the situation. Sheesh. People just don't think. hope you sleep better tonight.

Aunt Crazy said...

WOW, just WOW the nerve of some people...UGH!