He's going to be fine.

I want to tell you about my dance class, but I will hang onto that until tomorrow.  Yesterday we drove 3 hours away from home to take Cam to his first baseball camp experience.  Don't get me wrong he has been at camp before.  He has gone with our church for years, but that is very different.  At church camp we know the people that he is staying with.  He has friends from church there with him.  Yesterday we left my son 3 hours away from home, knowing no one.  That was hard.

When we got there he was really excited, he was ready to meet the coach and players.  We set up his dorm room (it's at a college) and unpacked all of his belongings then headed over for orientation.  We were not sure that we could stay for orientation, so right before it started we told Cam that we should say our goodbye's so that if we needed to leave we could.  His eyes grew big and tears started welling up.  So we assured him that we would stay a little longer, and maybe watch the first practice if he wanted us to, if they would let us.

When we left he seemed fine, but for sure he was doing better than we were.  My husband was talking, I'm not sure what he was saying he was just rambling on  but I said "He's gonna be fine".  Then I was talking about the practice schedule, when my husband said "He's gonna be fine."  I bet in 5 minutes we said  "He's gonna be fine" about 100 times.  My mom called and I answered the phone "He's gonna be fine".  That was a long drive home.  At one point I started feeling light headed and dizzy.  I thought Lord I'm getting sick,  that's when I realized I was holding my breath. So my thought went something like this "Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't cry, he's gonna be fine. Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't cry, he's gonna be fine."  I can't begin to tell you what a long ride home that was.

We didn't go home for a while, we killed time and went to eat and just piddled around.  Who whats to go home to an empty house?  We were defiantly taking this harder than him!  He called around 9:30 and told us he was having so much fun, and wanted to know if we could let him stay for the next week too.  Right then it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my chest.  Just knowing that he's not alone, he is making friends and having fun.   No one told me that parenting was so hard!  No one told me that loving someone so much, could hurt!  It's the greatest feeling in the world.  So right now I'm missing my little man, but I know He's gonna be fine!

Have a happy Monday!