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Monday, May 10, 2010

Mr. G's Meltdown :)



Several years ago I was a single mom.  Life is hard being a single mom, and unless you have been there don't roll your eyes when someone says this.  It's tough.  Especially if you try to keep your pride. To understand the story I have to give you part of my "sob" story.


While I was expecting I had some complications that put me on bed rest for about 2 1/2 months.  I didn't have a job with benefits, so those 2 1/2 months of bed rest came without pay.  My x-husband (we were still together at this point) was the only one working, and he should have been able to cover all the bills, however, he skipped the mortgage for 3 months.  When I packed up to move when Cam was 8 weeks old, he still had not paid the mortgage and I had only been back to work for a couple of weeks.  When I filed for divorce the house was in foreclosure and they were going to repossess our REFRIGERATOR!  So I had to sell my car to make a house payment (that I wasn't living in) and pay off the refrigerator, so that I would have one!



When my divorce came through, he was supposed to pay child support, and reimburse me for some damages to the house that I had to fix to sell it before the bank took it.   With the money the he was "going to pay" and child support I should have been able to buy a car right?  So I sold the house, put the very little bit that was left on the car, and got a loan for the rest. The loan would be paid off with the money that he owed me for the house repairs.


Fast forward to the first payment, and I had no money, b/c he didn't pay for the repairs that he owed me, he didn't pay child support ( and never has) and between paying rent, and diapers, and food there was no money left.  So I didn't pay the car insurance so that I could pay the car payment.  I didn't mention this to my mother so that she wouldn't worry.


The next month I again had to skip the car insurance to pay the payment, but figured I would catch it up when the child support came right?  Right.  Next month the same thing.  This went on until my court hearing 6 months later.  I thought well, I will just be really careful and not get pulled over and when I have the money I will get insurance (car insurance).  Court came and he refused to pay, so he went to jail, and I still had no money and no car insurance. It didnt' even worry me anymore.

Well one day I go out to the mail box and there is a letter from the finance company, they are repossessing my car!  Because I didn't have car insurance they had "added" an insurance fee that tripled my monthly payment.  I had been making a payment but only a partial payment (remember they tripled it for the insurance- but I didn't know that) and now I was 4 months behind on my car payment.

I was panicking and decided to pull into Mr. G's get a coke, calm down and figure out what I was going to do.  I walked into the store and the clerk asked me if I was pregnant!  This on top of what was already on my mind just set me into a new world of anger.  I don't know why I was angry but I was.  So I held my breath and gave her my money.  Then she asked if I was okay.  (I guess that purple color that had taken over my face gave her a clue).  That's when I told her that she needed to mind her own business, it was people like her that asked a 110 pound woman if she was pregnant that caused eating disorders like anorexia.  Maybe YOU should spend sometime worrying about YOUR waistline, because I'm sure you havent' seen your feet in years! That is when I stormed out of the store.

I sat in my car, and fumed.  That's when I realized I had given her a $10.00 bill, I only had a drink.  That meant that I had almost 9 dollars in change that I had left, and I really needed that $9.00.  That is when my mother called.

How she knew to call me right then I will never know. She worked about 3 doors down from where I lived and I couldn't hide that I didn't have a car (had they come to take it).  I began to unload everything on  my mom, and I felt so guilty about disrespecting the lady in the store.  I was embarrassed and I needed that money so badly.  I asked her if she would come up there and get my change for me so I didn't have to face the lady again. This lady was old enough to be my GRANDMOTHER!  Nope - she said I would have to go in there and do that myself, but come to her office and we would figure out the rest.


So after about 15 minutes on the phone crying to my mommy (sad I know), I squared my shoulders and walked up to the old woman and apologized.  I didn't make excuses, I just said I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for everything I said, and I didn't mean a word of it.  You just got the worse end of my bad day. Please forgive me for being rude and disrespectful.  Can I have my change please?

I got my change, and left.  And no - they didn't repo my car.  Thanks to my mom, she was always there to help me out.  I did pay her back, but I never let my insurance lapse again, and I never missed a car payment either.  I just picked up another job, to go with teaching dance and waiting tables.  3 jobs and a new baby, times were tough.  I ended up keeping that 3rd job for several months, until  I found a roommate to help with the bills.

So now you know the most embarrassing part of my sob story! Now I know that if I am angry, or really stressed, the best thing I can do is keep my BIG MOUTH SHUT!

Do you have a true story?  Link up here and tell us all about it!

I guess I should follow up on this by saying that this experience is one that we laugh at, because I opened my mouth and made a complete and total A$$ of myself!  Then I had to go in and eat my words, and face the person I had been mean to.  I was embarrassed to say the least.

The sob story - well we all have one, and I am glad I can look back on the experience of my younger self  and learn something.  Those days taught me how to better manage my money, how to treat everyone with respect, even if they don't deserve it, and how NOT to raise my son. I am raising a little man that will never treat people the way is "donor" does.  We don't see the x- I am re married and I have a wonderful life.  Those life experiences has made me the most awesome person I am today!  :)

5 comments:

Angie said...

A girlie, sorry you went through that. Believe me, I've been there...except with the kid part.

Kmama said...

Oh wow. what a story!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that...but I'm guessing it made you a much stronger person.

Foursons said...

Yikes, what a stressful time for you! Deadbeat dads are the worst. I'm sorry your son has to deal with the sperm donor as his father.

Mr. Daddy said...

that was some serious tough love and a class act by your Mom....

and you sound like a tribute to her wisdom and loving guidance as a parent...:o)

Rachel said...

Oy! I know what it's like to have something just set you off at the end of a long day... and it usually sets my MOUTH off before my brain catches up and warns me.

Glad you made it through and used it to become an even better parent!